Monday, July 18, 2011

the aftermath of Harry Potter

~~ This is completely un-beauty related, so feel free to skip it if you want. :) ~~


Harry Potter has been a big part of the last 10 years of my life. When I was getting divorced from my first husband, I lived with my parents, had no money, and had a small infant to take care of that was often ill, and I was miserable every second. I was severely depressed. I read Harry Potter and watched the movies constantly then. They were my therapy. I could forget my troubles for a while watching/reading them. Even after my life improved, I continued reading and watching because I loved the series. And after the last book was released, I did not despair because hey, there's always the movies to look forward to.

Well, this past Saturday, I watched the last movie that I had to look forward to.

In the days leading up to the movie, I was in two minds. On one hand I was terribly excited to see it, I kept hearing it was fantastic and I wanted more than ANYTHING to see it already! On the other hand, it's the last movie, and after this it will be truly over. There will be nothing more to look forward to. So I was both excited and apprehensive.

Sitting in the crowded theater, waiting, my stomach was in knots. Once the movie started, I relaxed, and watched.

I can't remember exactly when I started crying, but at some point I did, and I didn't really stop until the end of the movie. Then I stopped long enough to walk out of the theater.

On the way to the car, it hit me. This is the last time I'll ever walk out of a theater having just seen a new Potter movie. The last time. I started crying again and this time I sat in the car and bawled my eyes out for at least 5 minutes before I could compose myself.

I tried to explain what I was feeling to my husband, and I think he sort of understood. Even now as I try to explain it to whoever's reading this, it's hard, and I don't know if anyone can really understand it. It's just a movie, it's just a book, how can anyone get this emotional over something like that?

It's not just a movie, it's a chapter in my life. A chapter that's over now.

I can't explain the crushing depression I feel now. I didn't put makeup on this morning, but that was mostly because I cried so much my face is extremely dried out and flaky.

My husband's advice is to fill the hole with something else. I actually have already tried. I'm sunk deep into George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, which is incredibly good, but...it's just not the same. Nothing will be the same, I think.

I don't know what it is about the Potter series that's captured me as it has. A large part of it is the actors, I think. The kids were so perfect for their roles, and that only became more apparent to me as I watched them grow up. It was amazing watching them grow up in these roles, watching them grow as actors. To me they were their characters. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like I'm bidding farewell to a child.

I can't believe this is affecting me like it is. Probably a lot of other people can't believe it either.

Are you a Potter Fan? How did you feel watching the last movie?

9 comments:

  1. I understand. I bawled my eyes out and I'm still a bit bummed.

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  3. Aww I understand! Though I haven't actually seen it yet, but I love the HP series :)

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  4. I am a huge HP fan , i do read the books over and over again also the movies ! They are my feel-good movies too and if i feel sick or miserable , i always watch a HP-movie !! I always want to see the movies ... at that moment i live in a fantasy-world and nobody can change that . So yes , i understand how you feel :D HP is a part of my life too .

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  5. Great post dear! I felt the same way. I too cried like a child :D

    That being said, I wanted to let you know that I gave you a blog award this morning! :D

    http://mynewestaddiction.blogspot.com/2011/07/versatile-blogger-award.html

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  6. Awwww man I hear ya. My friend gave me her 1st 4 books to read one summer b/c she got them from her grandma but she's not a reader and 1 by 1 I slammed through those books in no time. Everytime since a new book came out, I pre-ordered it to get a 1st edition hardcover and I remember being so excited.
    A french fry landed on book 6 and I actually cried because my books are in mint condition and now there's a damn slight ketchup stain on the top of the pages! I even read the books using the book jacket as protection from my fingers, so the pages didn't turn yellow. How's that for anal :D
    I haven't been able to watch the movie just yet in theatre but will soon. Me and the dude have seen the last 4 in theatres so it's a ritual now and I'm gonna be so heartbroken when it's done.

    It's like when I finished reading the Hunger Games! hahaha just realized that now but I was so upset I didn't eat.

    It's crazy how books/movies can get to a person.

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  7. This post just made me like you even more. I felt the same way.. So happy to see the new movie, but when it was over I was just so saddened that would be the last time... The last time I would so look forward to the next movie! I loved to re-read the books before the movies came out... no more... :(

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  8. I think along with being there, in times of need, we were also a lot younger when the series first got going, when our imaginations were bigger, the world was our oyster in a sense, and this being a marker to the end of that era in our lives. We are generally no longer as hopeful about the impossible as we once were, to me its kind of like an end to innocence only not quite ( am I making sense?) so it strikes a nerve with us. I understand :D

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  9. *hugs* I totally understand, I feel like a huge chunk of my life just went missing. :(

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