~~ This is completely un-beauty related, so feel free to skip it if you want. :) ~~
Harry Potter has been a big part of the last 10 years of my life. When I was getting divorced from my first husband, I lived with my parents, had no money, and had a small infant to take care of that was often ill, and I was miserable every second. I was severely depressed. I read Harry Potter and watched the movies constantly then. They were my therapy. I could forget my troubles for a while watching/reading them. Even after my life improved, I continued reading and watching because I loved the series. And after the last book was released, I did not despair because hey, there's always the movies to look forward to.
Well, this past Saturday, I watched the last movie that I had to look forward to.
In the days leading up to the movie, I was in two minds. On one hand I was terribly excited to see it, I kept hearing it was fantastic and I wanted more than ANYTHING to see it already! On the other hand, it's the last movie, and after this it will be truly over. There will be nothing more to look forward to. So I was both excited and apprehensive.
Sitting in the crowded theater, waiting, my stomach was in knots. Once the movie started, I relaxed, and watched.
I can't remember exactly when I started crying, but at some point I did, and I didn't really stop until the end of the movie. Then I stopped long enough to walk out of the theater.
On the way to the car, it hit me. This is the last time I'll ever walk out of a theater having just seen a new Potter movie. The last time. I started crying again and this time I sat in the car and bawled my eyes out for at least 5 minutes before I could compose myself.
I tried to explain what I was feeling to my husband, and I think he sort of understood. Even now as I try to explain it to whoever's reading this, it's hard, and I don't know if anyone can really understand it. It's just a movie, it's just a book, how can anyone get this emotional over something like that?
It's not just a movie, it's a chapter in my life. A chapter that's over now.
I can't explain the crushing depression I feel now. I didn't put makeup on this morning, but that was mostly because I cried so much my face is extremely dried out and flaky.
My husband's advice is to fill the hole with something else. I actually have already tried. I'm sunk deep into George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, which is incredibly good, but...it's just not the same. Nothing will be the same, I think.
I don't know what it is about the Potter series that's captured me as it has. A large part of it is the actors, I think. The kids were so perfect for their roles, and that only became more apparent to me as I watched them grow up. It was amazing watching them grow up in these roles, watching them grow as actors. To me they were their characters. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like I'm bidding farewell to a child.
I can't believe this is affecting me like it is. Probably a lot of other people can't believe it either.
Are you a Potter Fan? How did you feel watching the last movie?
© 2012 Darcey Parrott for Femputer Makeup. Powered by Blogger.